Bad Humor Memos From The I.T. Dept.

1. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

2. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

3. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

4. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

5. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.